The Phases of a Mother's Life

It seems like just yesterday I was changing diapers, up for nighttime feedings, and rocking my son to sleep. 

Before I knew it, he was going off to school...first preschool, then kindergarten. Those were emotional times for this young mom.

Of course, when middle school and the teenage years hit, I wasn't as sad, as I was anxious and frustrated...as his emotions and unpredictable behaviors kicked in overdrive!

High school was more of a time of honing in on his interests, gifts, and talents. Encouraging more responsibility and preparing him to be an independent young man.

High school graduation was more of a relief...we got him through his basic schooling. Then it was time for seeking out a college and career path...

There were many side-tracks before making a decision about what he wanted to do with his life. Patience,  loving advice, and encouragement were top on my list. Sometimes, I wondered if he was ever going to make a decision about his future.

Moving out, getting his full independence from us, his parents was what I had anticipated for so long. But it surprised me how great an effect his absence had on me.(on us) 

Now, we are officially "empty-nesters". It sounded great to me at first, but there definitely have been some changes and adjustments that I have had to get used to... am still getting used to. 

Why, on some days, do I feel so old? Maybe it's because my baby is now 20, going on 21. Our oldest, in her 30s now, and has made me a grandma 3 times over, and her oldest is a teenager, now! (Unforturnately, we don't see them much.)

Maybe it's because, it seems like the days, months, years, just seem to spin out of control and are gone so quickly, now-a-days.

 

I know there are more phases yet to come in my life as a mother. But, I look back and see each phase I've gone through was unique, special, and  had a purpose. Some were more pleasant than others. Some years were a true test of my faith, patience, love, perseverance, and trust in the Lord. 

 

 

I spent many days and nights on my knees in prayer, pleading with God to guide and protect my children, my son especially, since he was with us from birth. 

 

Such an array of emotions and memories for this mother! What joys and sorrows...the phases of a mother's life! 

As Mother's Day approaches, I am reminded of each of these phases, thanking God for all He has provided! He has walked with me through each one of them and answered many of my prayers, some not how I would have chosen, but how He chose for me and my children. Thank you, Jesus!

Also linking over to these blog hops:
Hear It on Sunday/Use It on Monday (Michelle DeRusha)
Weekend Brew (My Freshly Brewed Life) 
 Soli Deo Gloria Party (Finding Heaven)  
 Sharing His Beauty (Beauty In His Grip)
Titus2sdays (Time-Warp Wife)
Gratituesday (Heavenly Homemakers)
 UNITE (Rich Faith Rising)
Wordless Wednesday @ BlogShe 
Winsome Wednesday(My Daily Walk in His Grace)
Wednesday's Word (He Cares for Us)
Faith Filled Friday @ Missional Women
 

Take Care of Yourself

As a wife and stepmother for 26 years and a full-time mom for 20+ years, I understand the strains and stress of parenting and fulfilling all the wife's duties in the home. Parenting is a full-time job, whether you work full-time, part-time, or are a stay at home mom. And, depending on the needs/responsible-ness of your husband, being in charge of home duties/finances may also fall heavy on the wife.


Sometimes in the daily grind, we are rushing around to take care of everyone else in the family, and we wives/moms forget the importance of taking care of ourselves first. 

I've heard this quoted many times:

 "You can't be anything for anybody else unless you take care of yourself."

In fact, for me anyways, I have had to re-evaluate my relationships within my family.  There were some unrealistic expectations, some unhealthy habits, and even some misconceptions of each role that we played within the family. Things had to change (and we are still working on this) for our family to be a healthy and successful one.

Interesting thought:

 "If you dont take care of yourself, the undertaker will overtake that responsibility for you."

 But change isn't easy, is it?

"Why is it hard for many of us to do things for ourselves before we do for others? Maybe we believe the "good" woman sacrifices herself for her family and, increasingly, for her work. In terms of our relationships, women often feel they're responsible for everything—which is not a complete misperception," says nationally syndicated columnnist and life coach Harriette Cole. "We are the ones who usually lead the way. But somehow we get from there to the idea that the world won't work if we don't help it along." 

 "If you always put someone else first, there's a tendency for others to depreciate you, to lose respect, because respect comes from an understanding that that person has her own wishes, dreams, and desires," says Ethel S. Person, MD, author of Feeling Strong: The Achievement of Authentic Power.

Read more: http://www.oprah.com/oprahs-lifeclass/Why-Its-Okay-to-Put-Yourself-First-Inspiration#ixzz2SGZglqxR

As Christian women, feelings of what's expected, or of being a "godly wife" can often cause us to feel guilty for putting our needs before others. Amazingly, even putting God (who should be above any relationship) before our family is sometimes looked down upon. I know this is something I am still coming to terms with.

 

"Self care is not generally supported by our culture, and some people equate self care with abandoning responsibilities or being self centered. Women often receive rave reviews for taking better care of others than they do themselves. For example, we might hear, “Isn’t Sarah remarkable; she puts everyone’s needs above her own.” Or “That, Lisa, I don’t know how she operates on just five hours of sleep a night; isn’t she extraordinary?” As a result, many women are suffering near epidemic levels of physical, emotional, and spiritual fatigue.

 

I believe that taking time for yourself allows you to be a better wife, mother, friend, and employee."

(source)

Here is a great way to start:

1. Go To Sleep. Lack of sleep causes weight gain, depression, wrinkles and a short temper. Try to sleep 8 hours a day, but never ever let yourself get less than 6. Turn off that show you Tivo’d and get some rest!
2. Get Your Blood Pumping. Everyday, weather permitting, go for a walk for 20-30 minutes. Put the kids in a stroller and load up on bikes. Find another Mommy in the neighborhood to join you for adult interaction. Just a bit of exercise will boost your health, happiness and your bottom!
3. Pray. Researchers have proven time and time again that prayer is strongly associated with lower stress levels. If you are someone who has not tried prayer, I strongly recommend giving it a try.
4. Reach Out to Your Friends. We are designed to love and support each other. Women with close friends, with whom they can safely share their emotions and thoughts, are much happier. So get talking: over coffee, on the phone, or online. It is imperative that you have a support network of loving friends.
5. Look in the Mirror. I know, it is not fun, but take a few moments to examine what you see. How long has it been since you gave yourself attention? If it has been longer than you like, it is a perfect time to get this part of life in balance. Schedule a haircut, put on sunscreen and take a peek at your spring wardrobe. For lots of wonderful ideas check out the Fussy and Friends Fight the Frump series. There are hundreds of great ideas for taking care of yourself.

What is your opinion/are your feelings about taking care of yourself, first (after keeping your relationship with God a priority)?

Also linking over to these blog hops:

  T.G.I.F. Blog Hop @ 1-Minute Bible Love Notes 
No Rules Weekend Blog Hop @ Sincerely, Paula

A Weekend in Bloomington

I was a little unsure how the weekend would go.

We drove the 4 hours to get to our destination early Saturday morning.

We hadn't seen our son for almost a month. 

He moved to Bloomington, Indiana in February and seemed to be doing pretty well.

He has a new job and lives with a friend in an apartment.

It all seems too good, though.

Along with that, I'm not sure how I am feeling.

I've missed him so much! But I'm not really sure how much he's missed us. Not sure how this time will go, seeing him after this little time apart.  

But, when we arrive, he is so happy to see us!

We walk around town and find this beautiful botanical garden,

right in the middle of the city. 

We enjoy the walk and I take lots of pictures (I really am enjoying having a nice camera!).

It turns out to be a really good day.

The weather is a little cool and rainy, but we enjoy seeing the sights...

...and just spending quality time together.

Along with beautiful flowers and greenery, are displays of art, like the flower my son is standing next to(above) and the butterfly wall art (below), completely made of cork.

This is a college town (Indiana University) with lots of creative residents.

There are also lots of cultural restaurants to choose from also, like this Thai restaraunt.

We decide to try it, since none of us had eaten Thai food before.

Tyler had the curry and rice.

We tried the stir-fried vegetables and Pad Thai.

We stopped at a park and waterfall. (Called Cascades Park) There are so many flowers blooming, everywhere. So much color and new life!!

The waterfall in the park is amazing!!

We walked some trails, one which was quite overgrown with low-hanging trees and brush.

This creek runs through the park, with limestone walls on each side.

Some Canadian geese were enjoying the rainy weather.

All, in all, it turned out to be a very nice visit.

I miss my son very much, but am happy he is doing well, here in this college town. (He plans on attending college here, this coming fall.)

God is truly good!!

What did you do this past weekend?

Continuing to list all the blessings(gifts) Christ has shown me and rejoicing in Him alone!!!   at  "Multitude on Mondays"

1,322 - Quality time with my son.

1,323 - All the beautiful colors, as spring comes to life in flora.

1,324 - Trying new and unique foods from other countries/cultures.

1,325 - The calm and enjoyment we get out of observing nature.

1,326 - The sound of a waterfall.

1,327 - A sweet-tasting banana split for dessert, on a cold, dreary day.

1,328 - The opportunity to have some good conversation about some deeper issues with my son.

1,329 - Hugs from my son!!!

1,330 - Safe travels, to and from our weekend trip.

1,331 - God, giving me wisdom to not react to a negative situation that could have turned really bad.

1,332 - Last minute schedule opened up, to meet with my best friend, whom I haven't seen in a few weeks.

1,333 - In the midst of some(unspoken) hurt and heartache here at home, God still works in my heart.

Also linking over to these blog hops:
Hear It on Sunday/Use It on Monday (Michelle DeRusha)
Weekend Brew (My Freshly Brewed Life) 
 Soli Deo Gloria Party (Finding Heaven)  
 Sharing His Beauty (Beauty In His Grip)
Titus2sdays (Time-Warp Wife)
Gratituesday (Heavenly Homemakers)
Winsome Wednesday(My Daily Walk in His Grace) 
Wednesday's Word (He Cares for Us)
UNITE (Rich Faith Rising)

Oh, the PLACES I've Been @ The Tablescaper

"WATCH" and Pray!!

In our day, the term "watch" has lost much of its original power. Is there anything more passive than watching television? We live in a spectator nation. We watch movies, news, the markets, and sporting events. Watching has become an activity that puts us on the sidelines and not on the field of battle, an idea foreign to the original meaning of the word. At the time of the King James translators, "watch" emphasized the carefulness, attention, and vigilance in the way a soldier kept alert for any sign of enemy movement.

Many Bible verses raise the flag of being watchful, along with prayer. God reminds us to always be watching  and discerning. These are the last days before Christ's return and we are to look for the signs and be cautious.

 Romans 16:17

I urge you, brothers and sisters, to watch out for those who cause divisions and put obstacles in your way that are contrary to the teaching you have learned. Keep away from them.

1 Thessalonians 5: 2-11 

² For you yourselves know perfectly that the day of the Lord so cometh as a thief in the night.

³ When they are saying, Peace and safety, then sudden destruction cometh upon them, as travail upon a woman with child; and they shall in no wise escape.
⁴ But ye, brethren, are not in darkness, that that day should overtake you as a thief:
⁵ for ye are all sons of light, and sons of the day: we are not of the night, nor of darkness;
⁶ so then let us not sleep, as do the rest, but let us watch and be sober.
⁷ For they that sleep sleep in the night: and they that are drunken are drunken in the night.
⁸ But let us, since we are of the day, be sober, putting on the breastplate of faith and love; and for a helmet, the hope of salvation.
⁹ For God appointed us not into wrath, but unto the obtaining of salvation through our Lord Jesus Christ,
¹⁰ who died for us, that, whether we wake or sleep, we should live together with him.
¹¹ Wherefore exhort one another, and build each other up, even as also ye do.

Mark 13:32, 33, 35

³² “But about that day or hour no one knows, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father. ³³ Be on guard! Be alert

³⁵ “Therefore keep watch because you do not know when the owner of the house will come back—whether in the evening, or at midnight, or when the rooster crows, or at dawn. ³⁶ If he comes suddenly, do not let him find you sleeping. ³⁷ What I say to you, I say to everyone: ‘Watch!’”

 

Luke 21:25-36

²⁵ “There will be signs in the sun, moon and stars. On the earth, nations will be in anguish and perplexity at the roaring and tossing of the sea. ²⁶ People will faint from terror, apprehensive of what is coming on the world, for the heavenly bodies will be shaken. ²⁷ At that time they will see the Son of Man coming in a cloud with power and great glory. ²⁸ When these things begin to take place, stand up and lift up your heads, because your redemption is drawing near.”
²⁹ He told them this parable: “Look at the fig tree and all the trees. ³⁰ When they sprout leaves, you can see for yourselves and know that summer is near. ³¹ Even so, when you see these things happening, you know that the kingdom of God is near.
³² “Truly I tell you, this generation will certainly not pass away until all these things have happened. ³³ Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will never pass away.
³⁴ “Be careful, or your hearts will be weighed down with carousing, drunkenness and the anxieties of life, and that day will close on you suddenly like a trap. ³⁵ For it will come on all those who live on the face of the whole earth. ³⁶ Be always on the watch, and pray that you may be able to escape all that is about to happen, and that you may be able to stand before the Son of Man.”

 

 Watch What?

To "watch" in Luke 21:36 is all about being spiritually awake...not physically. Human nature is lazy and takes the easy road at every opportunity. It will rely on human reasoning, the word of others, or tradition rather than do the hard work of studying the Bible and believing what it actually says. Just because it is easy and comfortable, having been saying it for decades, does not justify clinging to an old notion unless we have a solid foundation in the Bible for that belief.  I Thessalonians 5:21 instructs us to "test [prove, KJV] all things," which would include our old notions, and then "hold fast" to the good ones—the ones that pass the test. We have to test our beliefs continually and rigorously against the only standard that counts—the Bible (Acts 5:29).

Luke 21:36 suggests that those who alertly overcome and pray always are those that may be counted worthy to escape and stand before Christ in God's Kingdom. In verse 36, Christ ties together all He has said throughout the chapter. If we do not neglect the spiritual (verses 34-35), and instead watch and pray always, we can "escape all these things" (verses 7-33) and enter God's Kingdom.  

We are certainly living in times very like those of the days of Noah, so the return of Christ could come anytime soon.

Christ reveals that the roles of watching—or paying careful attention to overcoming—and praying always are vital to our Christian lives, especially at this time.

We are also called to be thankful, as we watch and pray.

 

 Colossians 4:2

"Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful."

  

Why is thankfulness included, along with being watchful?  

All might, power, and life come from God; His creatures are continually dependent upon him for all these: to earnest, persevering prayer, He has promised every supply. As every situation in life has its peculiar duties, trials, so to every situation there is peculiar grace appointed. "Be always grateful to God, who has called you into such a state of salvation, and affords you such abundant means and opportunities to glorify Him. Let thanks for mercies given ascend as you ask for new mercies."

 Source

Sharing today all the blessings Christ has shown me and rejoicing in Him alone!!!   at  "Multitude on Mondays".

1,313 - God's protection upon me and my family.

1,314 - In the daily grind, knowing that He still watches over me.

1,315 - In the aftermath of a sad week (Boston bombings), knowing that we do have hope ~ a day when there will be no more pain, tears, and suffering.

1,316 - Even though my memory fails me so many times, having the grace and forgiveness from other believers and from the Lord!

1,317 - So thankful for worship music! Thankful for Third Day!

 "Your Love Oh Lord (Psalm 36)"

1,318 - Getting a text/picture from my friend, who is visiting her daughter in California.

1,319 - New spring outfits. One I got to wear today, because it got up to 65 degrees out!

1,320 -  Another amazing song by Third Day.

"Your Love is Like a River."

1,321 - My hubby getting 1/2 a day off work. Getting to spend a few extra hours with him.

Also linking over to these blog hops:
Hear It on Sunday/Use It on Monday (Michelle DeRusha)
Weekend Brew (My Freshly Brewed Life) 
 Soli Deo Gloria Party (Finding Heaven)  
 Sharing His Beauty (Beauty In His Grip)
Titus2sdays (Time-Warp Wife)
Gratituesday (Heavenly Homemakers)
Winsome Wednesday(My Daily Walk in His Grace) 
Wednesday's Word (He Cares for Us)
UNITE (Rich Faith Rising)