Saturday, August 14, 2021

TIME STOOD STILL - ONE AND A HALF YEARS LATER(I'M STILL HERE)

 


WOW!! Has it really been one and a half years since I've posted here on my blog page? 

I guess I do have a pretty good excuse for not posting, though. Uhhhh, right....COVID, the state of our country and our world, mom taking a turn for the worse with her dementia, selling mom's house, family issues. In reality, they ARE excuses, but I think they are good ones. Don't you?

Anyways, I'm back.(For now)

Don't ask how I decided to come back...well, you can, but I won't go into detail. Basically, I was looking back on some past posts and realized that life has a way of grabbing you by the b&##$ and not letting go. 

Life is such a contradiction of time, a polarity of feelings and experiences

I feel like the past year and a half just stood still, I have no clue where it went. So much has changed...and yet, it hasn't. Sometimes, I SO WANT it to change. Other times, I don't.

I am acutely aware of how fast time has passed – how fast it is passing – and as much as I look forward to moving on, I am intentionally breathing in the moments I have with my mom and my son. I realize that when things do change(and they eventually will), those things will most definitely NOT be what I would like to change. Mom will pass on someday. Tyler will move on in his life, as well.(He is still currently living at home and working...saving money to travel the country on his own, like we have done.)  It feels like I'm in a straight jacket and heading down a rabbit hole all at the same time. 

Talk about conflict!!

Me and my hubby's(mostly me) dream of traveling the country in our RV have been put on hold over the past 18 months. Not that we haven't done anything. We've taken a few 1-2 weeks trips, which have been awesome. But, nothing like our first trip after Ken retired. And, don't get me wrong. He's on board with traveling, too. He's just more "content" with sticking around home than I am. 

I am also reminded that time is always passing, always changing us, always changing those we love even when it seems like it has stopped.  Even when it feels like we are in a holding pattern,  the reality is that time is always passing.  Holding patterns don’t exist.  Every moment has purpose and is fleeting.  Time may seem to stand still, but it is moving. Always moving.

I need to remind myself to breathe it in! To enjoy these days(even the rough ones), as they will come to an end. And, even though it may not seem like it now, I'll move on to the next journey in my life. The next step...the next move. This moment, these stressful times, will be history. 

I am working at being grateful for these times. I also look forward to the changes that will come, in their own time. I am trying to do both at the same time, which can be a balance act....not taking one or the other too seriously. Not trying to HOLD ONTO one or RUSH the other. 

The Lord has it all in HIS plan and timing. I need to allow Him to direct me each and every day. I need to keep reading His word and praying for direction. I need to lean into Him when things get difficult. I need to wait on Him to close the doors that will need to be closed and open new ones when it is time to open them. I think this theme blends so well into what I wrote in my last post from 2020...(you can read it HERE). As the old saying goes, 

"Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow is not here yet. We have only TODAY!!"

I also had decided again NOT to have chosen a word for 2021(or any year to come). My last word was for 2019, which was "fearless". Boy, did that one kick me in the butt!! I carried it over to 2020, but it never was a word I cherished. I think I've come to believe that God keeps changing what things He wants us to work on  throughout every single year of our lives. It's a continual journey. 

Anyways, I AM still here. Hopefully I'll check back in more often with new posts. I do want to remember these days that seem to currently "stand still". One day, they will be just a memory.

"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens."(Ecclesiastes 3:1)

Blessings to you all, my friends!!!



Wednesday, January 8, 2020

Burn The Ships

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The beginning of a New Year often has us looking back and seeing how God has walked with us in the past and contemplating the year ahead

We tend to want to hold on to the familiar, the easier path, the old ways....but these often become unhealthy, and even dangerous for us to continue down some paths/have relationships with some people in our lives. When we become aware of these different paths/people in our lives that can hinder/harm us, we may need to "rise from the dust and walk away". 

"Burning the Ships" can be SO difficult(maybe even excruciating.) 

I don't know about you, but FEAR often has kept me from burning the ships and moving ahead. Fear of rejection, fear of what others will think, fear of being alone, fear of not knowing the future. But, God reminds us that He will never leave us, nor forsake us. He is our source of strength. And He holds the future and will take care of us!!

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9

This song came to my mind, as I've been thinking about some past relationships/choices(mainly family) that I have held onto, but have come to understand, have not been healthy,


Burning the Ships also means giving God control of things I don't have control of. The song below, also came to mind.

I pray, Lord, let me know when something/someone is pulling me down/away from Your will and plan for my life. Let me have the strength and courage to give it to You and know that if it's Your will to re-connect, You will open those doors again. If not, let me walk away, 'Step into a New Day', and know that You have purposed this for me and You have my back!! Let me surrender to You everything that I have no control over.
 I love You above all else, Lord!! Amen


"Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus." 
Philippians 3:13-14



Sunday, December 29, 2019

Fearless in the New Year



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A REVIEW OF 2019:
January - Celebrating mom's 82nd birthday
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February - Catching up with an old high school friend!!
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March/April -Traveling South and West U.S.
 Meeting my online Texas friends!!
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Biking around the rim of the Grand Canyon Image may contain: 2 people, including Ann K Popenfoose, people smiling, people standing, bicycle, sky, outdoor and nature
Canyonlands, Utah
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May - Spending Quality Time With Mom
Taking mom out for our weekly meal!
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Taking mom fishing
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June - Walk for Alzheimer's Awareness/Fundraiser
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Danny Gokey/Tenth Ave North concert
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July - Family kayak outing
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August - Lazy lake days
Bonfires by the lake
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Days of endless fishing
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September - Camping in Colorado
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Many fun-filled days with mom
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October - Dressing doggies up and Trick-or-Treating downtown
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November - Thanksgiving meal with mom
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December - Playing games; Celebrating the Holiday together
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Attending a Christmas Program 
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Christmas Dinner
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My word for 2018 was CHANGE and there definitely was lots of change this past year. Change in our family relationships, change in our plans for the future, change in our responsibilities, and more than anything, change in my self-confidence and how I deal with difficult circumstances!  

A new year, a new decade, is now in front of me! How much more will God be teaching me, guiding me, growing me? Honestly, I know, no matter what, God walks with me, so I have nothing to fear! As I continue to learn what it means to be fearless, I pray I can look to the Word of God for the answer!!

Quotes from Fearless Living in Troubled Times: Finding Hope in the Promise of Christ's Return by Michael Youssef
"Satan wants to distract us from the task at hand. He wants us to focus our attention on the past—on past hurts, past failures, past regrets—because he knows that if we are focused on the past, we will be immobilized in the here and now. Or he wants us to focus our attention on the future—on worries and fears that may never come to pass, or on wishful thinking that never accomplishes anything."   
"In times of persecution and oppression, hope endures. Hope perseveres. Hope brings us peace in the midst of trouble. The serene and confident expectation of the return of Jesus Christ, whether his return takes place in the next instant or ten thousand years from now, fills us with a peace that no persecutor can take away."  
"Only in the Cross of Christ will we receive power when we are powerless. We will find strength when we are weak. We will experience hope when our situation is hopeless. Only in the Cross is there peace for our troubled hearts."
Things to remember: