'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.
Than never to have loved at all.
Alfred Lord Tennyson, In Memoriam
Is this quote true, or not?
My son is at that age where over the past 3-4 years he’s been learning through different dating experiences, about relationships. In several of these relationships, he would get hurt emotionally, when either the girl treated him disrespectfully or would see other guys behind his back. Every time they broke up he would say, “I’m never dating again.” His heart had been so broken and abused, that he just wanted to give up on really falling in love. It just hurt too much to make himself vulnerable to someone, who would in return then stomp on his heart.
My husband liked to tell my son after every break-up that until he met the right one, there would be lots of pain and disappointments. But, if he never opened up his heart again and was willing to show his vulnerability, he would never find love, which is so worth the struggle and heartache it takes, once it is found. Recently, my son started dating again. It’s still a little early in the game to be sure, but this time, I think he may have found a keeper. Thank goodness, his heart has learned to heal and not let past experiences affect his current decision to give it another try.
So in my opinion, I think the answer to my question depends on who you ask and when in one’s life you ask it. We all hate being hurt, humiliated, broken down, and abused. It sucks!! Most everyone experiences being in a situation sometime in their life when someone has hurt them immensely, whether it be in a love relationship, a friendship, or with a family member. Our vulnerability is exposed and we lay our hearts on the line. It can be scary, threatening, and often risky. After a few bad experiences, we may find ourselves being a little more cautious about opening up too quickly. Unfortunately, some people never open up their heart to another again. How sad. It can be very lonely when a person reaches this place in life.
Not only do bad experiences affect us in our future relationships with other people. Our relationship with God is deeply influenced by our past. Children who grow up with an abusive or unloving father find a relationship with their heavenly Father to be difficult and scary. Learning to trust and be vulnerable to God’s ways is a challenge because this was not learned in the home. Relationships that involved full trust and exposure of the heart, only to be used and abused by the one that was trusted causes one to not trust God’s love and goodness, either. But the one thing we can be sure of is that God is not like other people. He is trustworthy and He will not turn against us, when we open our hearts up to Him. Sure, there’s always going to be people who hurt us in life. But, praise our Lord and Savior, we have Him, who can teach us to be open again, become vulnerable, and experience God’s true love through others. And for those who have, I'm sure they would say it was worth it!
Trust in the LORD with all your heart
And do not lean on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He will make your paths straight.
Do not be wise in your own eyes;
Fear the LORD and turn away from evil.
It will be healing to your body
And refreshment to your bones.