Tuesday, July 30, 2013

What Does Marriage Mean to Today's Generation?

It was an overcast morning, but by 3:00 the sun was out and the wind a bit gusty..."should be a good day for a wedding," I thought to myself. There was quite a lot of anticipation(and a little curiosity), and some uneasiness, in the air.

My nephew was to become a husband on this day, and we were going to gain a new family member. The two had been a couple since high school, over 5 years ago. Now they were tying the knot and making the commitment to 

Love and cherish...
     for better or for worse, 
           for richer, for poorer, 
               in sickness and in health, 
from this day forward... 
                     until death do us part.

As the minister gave his brief, but unique, presentation on the two becoming one, I wondered if they (as with most dating, engaged, or newly-wed couples) REALLY comprehended what it meant to become ONE!
Genesis 2:21–24

21 So the Lord God caused a qdeep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. 22 And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made8 into a woman and brought her to the man. 23 Then the man said,
“This at last is rbone of my bones
and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called Woman,
because she was staken out of Man.”9
24 tTherefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

 "The term “one flesh” means that just as our bodies are one whole entity and cannot be divided into pieces and still be a whole, so God intended it to be with the marriage relationship. There are no longer two entities (two individuals), but now there is one entity (a married couple)."

As they walked out of the church and balloons were released, I wondered if they knew that they didn't have what it takes to keep a relationship going...on thier own. 
Unless and only if they turned to the Lord daily for wisdom and strength, were they going to make this relationship last!
There will be disagreements. There will be arguments. There will be difficult times. They will need the Holy Spirit's leading during those times, to guide them and show them how to respond with love, not react to each other in anger.This somewhat traditional, but also a bit non-traditional, wedding made me think about this generation and the times we are living in. I think about my own son, who will soon be 21 and is out discovering the world and will most likely marry some day. The desire to stay pure, and seek to marry someone with high Christian moral standards is almost non-existant in society. (If they marry at all, as living together, divorce, and infidelity are still going strong.)
I think that this generation of couples, especially young couples are bent on making sure they are right and that they put their own needs above their spouse's needs. They often think that if you have disagreements, it must mean you aren't in love and they break up quickly over leaving the tube off the toothpaste or not having a clean house. Sometimes they realize that the issues they didn't think were that big of a deal were actually major problems, like financial problems, in-laws, or being unequally yoked due to differences in faith/beliefs.
I suppose some of that happens in all marriages, but the love and commitment of a lasting marriage relationship makes the couple determined to work through those issues that come up.
 At the wedding reception, the bride and groom had their first dance as husband and wife. Then the DJ had all married couples go the the dance floor. Little by little he asked those who were married less than 5 years to go sit down...then 10, 15, 20, etc. The last couple dancing ended up being my aunt and uncle...married 43 years!! I wondered what my nephew and new niece would be doing in 43 years. Would this be them?
  After the music stopped, the DJ asked my aunt and uncle, what kept them together all these years. I think they were in such shock at being the longest together that they didn't know what to say. Of course, love was their reply...but knowing my aunt and uncle all my life, I know all the elements that kept them together. First and foremost, their shared faith - in God and in each other. There were MANY difficult times in their marriage, but they were committed to support and stand by one another through thick and thin. They put each other's needs, and the needs of their family(3 children) first, while running a large family business.
I believe marriages in this generation struggle to survive. So much is against couples who don't start out with strong Christian morals. The fight to keep Biblical, traditonal marriage alive in our society, is getting tougher and tougher. We need God's healing and leading to change how this generation sees marriage!!

Continuing to count my blessings, one by one at   "Multitude on Mondays".
1,429 - The wonderful (imperfect) marriage I have with my hubby...we will be married 27 years next January!
1,430 -  Time spent with my sister and mom, as we went fishing on our lake Sunday afternoon.
1,431 -  God's protection and provision.
1,432 -  Being able to show God's love and comfort to our neighbors, who recently lost a son. Taking a meal and sympathy card to them.
1,433 -  Texting with my son, who still misses us now and then(as we miss him)!
1,434 - Spending time with family, especially with my siblings. We have not been ALL together in several years!

My sister, me, and my two brothers. The brother to the right was father of the groom.

The New York Times has a column called:
Making It Last: Profiles of couples who have been together more than 25 years.
It's full of great stories of how couples have weathered the storms of marriage and are still in love with each other! I love reading those kinds of stories!!!


  1. Ann,

    I think many couples start out wanting to do things their own way, especially if they don't have a foundation of Christ. They soon discover that the sin and selfishness we all have inside of us overrules the love we feel and we need help from above if we want love to last. I pray they will find and put Christ in the center of their marriage as your Aunt and Uncle did. Thanks for coming by to see me.


  2. So true, Kim! I too, pray they find the importance of turning to God to keep their marriage strong!

  3. Ann - Looks like such a beautiful wedding! On the verge of renewing my vows, your words & photos inspire me! ~ Jen


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