Saturday, March 24, 2012

Relationships Take Work Series (Emotional Intimacy)

This is the fourth in the series of several posts I am writing on relationships, in particular, marriage relationships.
To read the other posts go here

What is Intimacy?
  • Although the word ‘intimacy’ is not used in the Bible, the concept is found there. Husband and wife are to function as one rather than two.
"For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh."Genisis 2:24
They need a way to relate to one another that does not cause conflict but encourages harmony.
  • The meaning of ‘oneness’ can be further understood by the words used to describe physical intimacy or the sexual union.(This is often what people first think of when they hear the word intimacy). We will be discussing this topic in a different post.
  • True (or emotional) intimacy has a lot to do with how much we share our hearts with our spouse.
o    It takes a commitment of time and effort on both sides. Conversations and experiences must bring the couple together in such a way that they understand one another’s beliefs, thoughts, and dreams.

Today, I want to talk about how "true intimacy" can grow in a marriage.

Three ways to grow in intimacy: 
Personal sharing- Conversation between spouses must be honest, other-focused and true.
o    We need to share about our true selves. This is where and when growth begins to take place.
o    Growing in intimacy means learning, on a much deeper level, more about your spouse every day.
o    Sometimes we don’t want to offend the other. It is good to think about the other; timing is important. But because of the closeness of relationship, we need a better approach, a more open, relaxed, and accepting approach.

   Mutual understanding- learning as a couple to become vulnerable to each other without destabilizing the relationship.
o    Has one great side benefit that we are often oblivious to. It cripples the evil one’s tactic of using misunderstanding and assumption to stir up trouble.
o    increase our trust in one another
o    It means the each must be able to trust the other to be loving, kind, uncritical, and patient with them.
   Deepening commitment- engaging in special conversations and shared experiences for mutual trust to grow.
o    a firmer commitment evolves
o    Are one-hearted: We are committed to each other and no other.
o    Our faithfulness to bettering the other spouse is more important than our own self.
o    The spouse's life becomes most important to you.
o    Is a life-long process.
o    Love is the expression of unconditional, genuine concern for the other.

This is often where couples miss the target of keeping a marriage close. It is so important to stay open and honest with each other, with kindness, of course. It is also important to make every effort to let the other feel loved, appreciated, and cared for, so that they can also feel safe and understood when they open up their heart..

Remember, it is a life-long process. Once, or twice, or three times won't take care of this area in a marriage. The need for it is immense. And it needs to happen often.  So, if there is an issue of staying close emotionally, sharing one's deepest thoughts, and spending time together, look to God for wisdom. Seek professional help, if the problem is too overwhelming or doesn't seem to get resolved. God intends for our marriages to be strong and happy.
Information Source:

Wishing you His blessings on your life 
and in your relationships today and always!

I continue to share my blessings through the Joy Dare!

3 gifts that made you laugh 
554. Friends at Bible Study, joking and being silly.
555. When I hear my son's girlfriend laugh...her laugh is very contagious. I love hearing it and she laughs often because she is a happy person!
556. Reading "Zits" comic's like the writer follows my teenage son around and writes about him and our relationship with him.

A gift salty, a gift sweet, a gift just right 
557.  Salty- fresh, warm tortilla chips, dipped in salsa
558.  Sweet- sweet tea 
 559.Just right- warm homemade apple crisp, topped with vanilla ice cream.

3 gifts found in His Word
(I love Scripture or quoted signs!)   
560.  Deuteronomy 6:4-9
561.Micah 6:8
562.Psalm 46:10
                                                                                    Source: via Ann on Pinterest

3 gifts found in women today 
563. Time spent with a friend (lunch). 
564.  Helpful information about a house shared by a friend.
565. Time spent in prayer together with other believing women.

A gift sung, written, painted 
566.  Sung- Being able so sing at church (in spite of losing most of my voice from a cold
     567. A new book("Selections From 1000 Gifts")by Ann Voskamp (I just got it)
568. {Soon to be painted} Some beautiful wood signs I am making myself.(I'll post them when I get them finished!)

3 gifts almost gone 
569. My voice is nearly gone today (It looks like I may have strep throat)
570.  Energy – I am tired today, resting to gain my strength back.
571. Our neighbors. Watched as they loaded the moving semi today. They will officially be gone in 2 days. We will miss them.

linking over at these blog hops:


  1. Ooooh! Great information in this, Ann! God loves marriage and developing true intimacy with our spouse is so important. You are is a life-long process! It is something that should be incorporated into each stage of our married lives! Blessings to you! Joan

  2. I'm glad you enjoyed reading here today, Joan! Wishing you a wonderful week!

  3. Dear Ann, What a beautiful post! Many valuable lessons here to fully enjoy the blessings of Biblical marriage. Thank you so much for visiting and commenting on Saved by Grace! Your blog is a blessing and I am now following it, and I invite you to follow Saved by Grace also:
    Love in Him,
    Laurie Collett

  4. I am following you now, Laurie! I had thought I already was following you, but I guess not. I look forward to reading more about what you write! Thanks for joining me today!!

  5. Thanks for visiting my blog~ Lovely post, great sentiments. I like the Scripture too~ Have a great weekend :)


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