Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Overcoming Disappointment and My Brain of Mush!

Feeling disappointment is a part of life. Letting that disappointment control your attitude and behavior doesn't have to become the result.

 It's been a week since I put my camera memory card into the little slot, closed the lid, and hit the 'on' button. The camera came on, but instead of the normal auto focus, the words "memory card error" shined across the screen. Attempt, after attempt brought the same result. No picture or videos; just errors and blank options.

 "Great", I thought. " I didn't save my video clip."

 I called a computer repair shop in town. "Well", said the techie, "those cards quite often have problems. That's why you're supposed to save your pictures and videos on the computer. There is a slight chance that I may be able to recover your stuff on the card, but it is a very slight chance. And your card will be ruined, once the attempt is made."

 "Hey, I'm willing to try anything!" I retorted.
You see, the video I wanted was very special to me.

 On December 24 of 2012, my hubby and I celebrated (a little late) our 25th wedding anniversary by renewing our vows on the beaches of South Carolina. We had a beautiful short ceremony and we got it all on video, to keep the event alive.  I was so excited the first time I watched the video, once we got home! It came out so clear and was well done! I was SO excited to show my friends and family what a sweet ceremony it was! It was about the most romantic 8 minutes of my life!

 Then it was gone that quickly. The techie gave me little hope, but that was enough for me. So I left the card with him, in hopes of success. The next day he reported back to me that he found most of the photos on the card and even a few videos, but not the video of our renewal.

 Oh, I was bummed! I went home and studied the ones he did recover. There was one video that still would not allow me to open it. I called the techie again and told him about it. In his "fix-it" determination, he worked on it again, trying another program.

 A day later, he called me back. "I got the video clip!" he exclaimed. I was shocked and exhilarated all at once!! I made another trip to the repair shop, where he downloaded the video to my laptop, but first played a few seconds of the video to make sure it was what I wanted. "Yes" I exclaimed! "That's it!" I could not thank him enough!

 Back home again, I went right to the video to watch the long-awaited 8-minute clip. The beginning seemed a little different than what I had remembered. It cut in and out, played for about 30 seconds, then abruptly ended. I tried again and again it didn't play all through.

 My heart sank. "No! Not again!"
It appeared that, in reality, only a small amount of the video had been recovered. Not much to go on, for sure!

 I was twice disappointed.  My emotions had been hijacked and thrown around so much in the last couple of days that I didn't know how to respond.
My stomach started to hurt.
"Why was this upsetting me so much?" I asked myself.
There were several photos that had been recovered. So I had at least SOMETHING.
I know I'm an emotional person by nature, but this was ridiculous!! 
What could I do to overcome my disappointment?

Asking the Right Question                      

After many years of hurts and frustration, I finally realized that the question I should ask God isn't "Why, Lord?" but rather, "What now, Lord?"

  • but it's hard to ask the right question when you’re feeling disappointed. It's hard to ask when your heart is breaking. It's hard to ask “What now?” when expectations and dreams have been shattered.
  • But your life will begin to change when you start asking God, "What would you have me do now, Lord? God is eager to show you what he wants you to do next.

Where to Take Your Heartaches

In the face of trouble, our natural tendency is not to ask the right question. Our natural tendency is to complain. Unfortunately, griping to other people rarely helps solve our problems. Instead, it tends to drive people away
  • But we can't just let it go. We need to pour our heart out to someone. Disappointment is too heavy a burden to bear. If we let disappointments pile up, they lead to discouragement. Too much discouragement leads to despair.
  • God listens. He'd rather have us empty our heart to him than keep that bitterness inside. He is not offended by our discontent. 
  •  God has the power to change us, our situation, or both. He knows all the facts and he knows the future. He knows exactly what needs to be done.

The Answer to 'What Now?'

When we pour out our hurt to God and find the courage to ask him, "What do you want me to do now, Lord?," we can expect him to answer.
  •  The Bible is such an important guidebook that we should immerse ourselves in it regularly.
  •  Seeking God's answer to "What now?" helps us grow in faith. Through experience, we learn that God is trustworthy. He can take our disappointments and work them for our good.

 No matter how painful your disappointment may be, God's answer to your question of "What now, Lord?" always begins with this simple command: "Trust me. Trust me."
 (Source)

 I had to sit down and consider so many other things to counter-act my disappointment. I started writing all that God would have me learn/gain from this situation.
1. There are many things I can be thankful for...At least I had the photos. At least my hubby loves me enough to plan to renew vows with me. At least I can remember most of the ceremony and all that took place!
2. Maybe I am putting too much emphasis on romance in the relationship. Yes, some romance is a good thing, but it too loses its effect on us as time goes by. The reality is, romance is usually temporary, anyways. Love, though, is for eternity.
3. God is in control. If He wants me to have memories of this on video, He will provide a door to open that will provide it to me.

Along with this disappointment, January has proven to be a busy month, so far! We had several windows replaced in our house and my schedule has been anything but normal. Some days I feel like my brain is pure mush....a million things going in there and everything is in chaos. I take a deep breath when I start each day, saying a prayer that the Lord will get me though. I pray for peace, patience, joy, and trust in Him alone!

Resolved to Praise the Lord!
In 2012, I practiced writing out the gifts God placed in my life. In 2013, I want to continue that practice, no matter what God brings into my life. Some days, I may list gifts that are listed in the Joy Dare by Ann Voskamp. Other days, like today, I will write straight from my heart. I will continue counting from where I left off in my last post, where I listed my gifts.(Here)

Three gifts miraculous:
1,185 - My brother, coming home the first week of 2013, after being hospitalized for 3 months.
1,186 - Being able to go to South Carolina with my hubby and son to renew wedding vows on the beach.
1,187 -  Letting go of my disappointments and trusting God.

 Other gifts:
1,188 - A son who still enjoys spending time with his parents.
1,189 - Getting a little goofy....just for fun!
 1,190 - Walking the beach with our doggies.
 1,191- Enjoying a beautiful ocean view, with the sound of the waves coming in.
 1,192 - Unique artwork (graffiti) that my son liked.
 1,193 - A hug from my son at the beach.

 1,194 - My hubby relaxing with Sophie, watching t.v.

 1,195 - Historical grave-site in South Carolina
This man wore many hats in his day.

 1,196 - Back in Indiana...a quiet, snow-covered spot by the lake.
1,197 - A gorgeous pink sunrise on a cold winter morning.


Linking over at these blog parties:
Walk with Him Wednesday (A Holy Experience)
Winsome Wednesday(My Daily Walk in His Grace)



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Tuesday, January 1, 2013

A New Year, A New Word


Well, here it is....my word for 2013! It was pretty easy for me to find a word this year. Maybe because last year, I found myself dealing with a lot of challenges that tested my steadfastness. Sometimes, I didn't do too well in being steadfast. As a new year begins, and the clock winds closer to Christ's return, I know I will be required, more than ever, to be steadfast in my faith walk.

The word steadfast traces back to the Old English word stedefæst, a combination of stede, meaning "place," and fæst, meaning "firmly fixed." Picture a steadfast person standing firmly in place, not wavering or budging an inch, and you’ll have a good sense of what this word means. Someone can be steadfast in a belief, an effort, a plan, or even a refusal. Whatever it is, it means that the person will calmly hold firm to the chosen position and follow through with determination.

A word meaning to endure patiently. A steadfast person is one who is reliable, faithful, and true to the end. Paul said Jesus was a person of steadfastness (Romans 15:3-4). The NAS translates steadfastness with “perseverance” (2 Thessalonians 1:4). James said that trials that test our faith produce steadfastness (2 Thessalonians 1:3 KJV “patience”; NAS “endurance”; NIV “perseverance”).

You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you.  (Isaiah 26:3)

Therefore, my beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain.           (1 Corinthians 15:58)

For though I am absent in the flesh, yet I am with you in spirit, rejoicing to see your good order and the steadfastness of your faith in Christ. (Colossians 2:5—NKJV)

 Here is an example of Christ's steadfast love:

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;
his mercies never come to an end;
          they are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
           (Lamentations 3:22–23)


The translators of the Greek word means “firm, solid expanse, solid, stiff, and standing firmly” chose the English word “steadfast” to best communicate the idea. Steadfast is of Anglo-Saxon derivation and is incorporated into several words and phrases. “Stead” means a firm place (like a town), or the position of a thing filled by a replacement, a successor which may substitute in the place of another (our phrase “stand in good stead” means to give good advantage and serve well in the place of something). These definitions enhance the meaning of “instead.” They communicate the foundational thought behind the words “homestead” (house, outbuildings and farmland as settled property), bedstead, and “steadfast” (firm, fixed, settled, established, and constant as opposed to fickle). 

The same Greek word is found in other places in the Bible. 2 Timothy 2:19 says, “Nevertheless the solid foundation of God stands having this seal: ‘The Lord knows those who are His,’ and ‘Let everyone who names the Name of Christ depart from iniquity.’”

In 1 Peter 5:8–9, Peter says, “Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour. Resist him, steadfast in the faith, knowing that the same sufferings are experienced by your brotherhood in the world.”

Source: google.com via Ann on Pinterest

One who is steadfast is a person who stands unagitated and immovable in spite of the fierce pressures coming against him. The Bible calls this quality ‘steadfastness’.


The Lord wants us to be people of steadfastness. He does not want us to sway and slip with every passing torrent. Steadfastness is built up in us as we go through various trials. That’s why the Lord exhorts us to be joyful in trials because every trial is an opportunity for building up our spiritual and emotional ‘muscles’.
Think about a body builder. Before he begins his body building program, his muscles would probably be loose and not so strong; but as he daily does this program, eventually his muscles become strong and powerful. This happens because his muscles have developed the quality of steadfastness as a result of withstanding pressures.

Similarly, the Lord wants you to develop steadfastness in your life through the pressures and trials that come against you. Consider every trial that you face today as an opportunity to become more strong and unflinching. And as you tackle your daily pressures with this mindset, you grow in endurance, boldness, vitality, and confidence in God. What the devil planned for evil will become a channel for success in your life.
- – - written by Joe Abraham (from www.gloriousliving.net)
Source: google.com via Ann on Pinterest
...
 A quick word about the word I had for 2012:"Transformed"
 My desires for 2012 were:
  • To live a healthy lifestyle:  physically, in my relationships, and in my walk with God every day.
  •  To realize my gifts and use them to God’s glory alone.
  • To know my limitations and learn when God is leading and when He’s not, and take action accordingly.
  • To make a difference in the lives of others by sharing my life experiences and words of encouragement.(specifically through my blog)
  • To be a true disciple of Jesus Christ, walking the hard road and taking up my cross daily to do so.
 God has been good, even in the midst of many challenges! I feel like He helped me grow in fulfilling my desires and He continues to work in me.  

 As far as being steadfast for 2013... My desires are similar, but in a more determined way. I have learned much about being transformed.....now I need to stay strong in the transformation that has taken place.

“A Prayer For Steadfastness”

 Jesus, we proclaim You to be the King of Kings and Lord of lords.  Help us to boldly declare this glorious message, not only in a setting where we find receptive listeners, but also to a hostile world that is building its perishable kingdom here on earth. May we be full of conviction and infused with Your power as we courageously tell others “There is another King, one called Jesus.”  You’ve called us to be light in a world full of darkness. You’ve also enjoined us to be peacemakers. Sometimes when we take a stand for righteousness it does not bring peaceful resolution, but instead further conflict arises. Then we go through a surge of emotions and doubts begin to arise regarding our stand.  Would You help us to be diligent in our study, prayerful about our stand, and immersed in Your Holy Word.  May we not stand in our own strength or be led by aimless ambition. Lord, as we take a position against the evil tide of our land help us to be unapologetic in our stand, consistent in our Christian walk, and loving in our approach. May we, by example and word, say to the fallen world that we serve not the god of this age, but we serve a King who is ageless and eternal. In Your strength alone we stand. Amen.




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Monday, December 31, 2012

2012 In Review (Photo Video) ~Happy New Year!




 I love looking over all my pics from the past year. 
Sharing some of my favorites
 HERE
(Don't forget to turn your sound on.)
Wishing you all a Happy New Year's Eve!
God bless you all! We'll see you in 2013.

Linking over at these blog parties:



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Friday, December 28, 2012

The End of a Momentous Year!

Just a few more days of 2012 left! I don't know if it's because I'm getting older or that I appreciate more than ever each and every day I have on this earth, but I feel like life keeps whizzing by, each and every year that passes.

I actually looked at one of the last posts of 2011 and interestingly, I wrote a similar paragraph to what I just wrote above, so it appears I feel that way every year, during the last few days. I also wrote a few goals I had for 2012. Reading over them reminded me that I was able to complete some of my goals, while others did not get done. But I also realized that there have been many little events that kept me sidetracked or other big events that prevented me from completing them. Now, I'm not making excuses. I realize that some of my goals weren't done out of my own laziness or lack of motivation. That's pretty normal for any of us, at times. But, all in all, 2012 was pretty momentous for me and my family.

1. We completed the sale of our home and moved into a much smaller lakehouse/cottage. We also did some repairs to the new house-which included a new roof and new drywall in 4 rooms.

 2. I started another blog, called "Cairn Cottage", which has been a fun addition to this blog. I use it to post about some of the less serious things in life, like gardening, decorating, tea parties, fashion, etc.

 3. I got a part-time job, something I hadn't really planned on, but it was through God's leading that I chose to apply at our church's counseling center as a receptionist. This was just one unexpected blessing God placed in my life this year!

 4. I had the ultimate blessing, just this past week over Christmas, to go to South Carolina (a bit of a sidetrack from California, where I had planned on going last year) with my hubby and son. We renewed our wedding vows on the beach on Christmas Eve day.

There were some goals that haven't been completed fully, but are still in the process:

1. Our son is still at home with us, but he now has a full-time job and has been saving up to move out very soon. The process of helping him get his independence has had many hills and valleys this past year. But God is faithful and His timing has been so perfect. There were many things that our son was not ready for yet, by being on his own and that decision could have been disastrous if we would have had him move out.

 2. I didn't lose the weight that I had wanted to. This was one goal that I struggled with and have to say I dropped the ball. I did try to motivate myself by joining a weight loss challenge in our community, but dropped out of it pretty early. I haven't given up, but am changing my goals from losing the weight to living a more healthy lifestyle, i.e.- eating better, getting more exercise, getting more sleep, and worrying less.

 3. Another very unexpected sidetrack was my brother's health. Back in February he was hospitalized with digestive issues, which seemed to dissipate until September, when they became worse than ever. He has been hospitalized now, for over 3 months, has undergone 4 surgeries, and is currently at the Mayo Clinic in Minnesota. Needless to say, Thanksgiving and Christmas were both very difficult, as most of my family were spending time in the hospital, praying for his healing.  He seems to be improving, but it has been a very long and slow process! Again, I'm seeing how God's timing is everything!

 As I contemplate the new year that is quickly approaching, I am sure I will be thinking about continuing to work on some of the goals I had from last year, as well as some new goals I would like to make. But, more than anything, I am realizing that I need to rely on just doing what God calls me to do each day, as it comes. I won't let myself be as disappointed, if my goals aren't completed just like I planned. I feel like this past year has helped me see that I can appreciate the little successes and blessings in my life, that everything on this earth is temporary anyway, and ultimately, God knows what He's doing and He's in control. I just have to give everything to Him!

 In my last post I wrote how I was praying for several Christmas miracles. Already God has shown Himself to me in ways that I could never have fathomed. He opened doors that I thought would be impossible to open and it seems like He constantly is working in my life and the lives of those I love dearly! What a tremendous end to a momentous year!!

 Instead of my normal listing of gifts this week, I decided to post some of our Christmas pictures, which reveal more gifts than words could ever say!
 Spending Christmas on the beaches of South Carolina

Renewing vows on the beach - our son officiating.

Throwing flower petals out to sea!
 Folly Beach, South Carolina (Morris Lighthouse in background)










Old military structures that filled the beach were covered with graffiti....very cool!



Goofing around....I still got him, after 25 years!!
Christmas Eve at the hotel that we stayed at.









Hotel Lobby


Blessings to you all, as 2012 ends
and 2013 begins!
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Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Praying for Christmas Miracles

Just when you think you have the holidays all planned out...
when you anticipate time at home, with family, doing all the traditional things you do each year....
Just when Christmas surprises and exciting events are finally in place...

Everything changes....plans, hopes, anticipations, excitement, and joy...
They turn, 
turn into crushed dreams,  dread, confusion, and sadness.
This past weekend was, to say the least, a difficult one for the victims, families, and residents of Newtown, Connecticut. I actually can imagine the heartache they are feeling and will experience at Christmas, since 16 years ago on Dec. 26, my stepson was tragically killed in a car accident. Christmas should be a time of joy and family time, but that year it was full of sadness and loss. The death of a child is horrific, no matter how it happens. 

There have been so many prayers that have gone up for these families and we continue to lift them up.

-=-=-=-=-=-=--=-=-=--==-=

This Christmas is going to be unique and difficult for my family, again. My brother, who was just transported from our small Indiana town to the Mayo Clinic in Minnesota today, will be undergoing surgery, his 4th surgery in 2 months.  He has been hospitalized with intestinal blocks and bacterial infections for almost 3 months. In his weak physical state, he may not pull through. The doctors have admitted that they can't do much more and even if the surgery is successful,  his body may not be able to fight off the infection.

I know God is a God of miracles! He is in control and knows all that we need and desire. When we come to Him with humble and contrite hearts, He hears us.
... I have heard your prayer; I have seen your tears. Behold, I will heal you.
2 Kings 20:5 (ESV)

If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land. 
2 Chronicles 7:14-15

But, I also know that not always does He choose to give us what we ask for. Our ways are not always His ways.
I try not to think about the 'what ifs' of life, good or bad. Not only is that not good for the soul, but it leaves no room for the Lord to do miracles in my life. The negative 'what ifs' about my brother are difficult enough to shut out of my mind, but even more difficult are the 'what ifs' if he would not have gotten sick.(Resentment) You see, there is more to my Christmas story.

For nearly 3 years my hubby and I had been planning a special 25th wedding anniversary trip. Last year was officially our 25th, but because of finances and our house being on the market, we decided to wait till another time. I actually had come to terms that it would not happen, since what I had truly wanted was to renew our vows in my favorite place, Charleston, South Carolina on the beach. (I am a big time dreamer!) We had talked about other options, like going to Lake Michigan (much closer) to renew our vows, but it just wouldn't quite be the same. 

Well, to make a long story short, my hubby had actually been planning this coming weekend on surprising me and taking me down to S.C., with our son in tow to stand up with us, and renew our vows on the beach! My ultimate dream! But, that dream was crushed. Instead we will be spending Christmas in cold, snowy Minnesota, where the clinic is located! We may do it another time, but my son plans on moving out this spring, both he and my hubby work and don't have vacation time off other than Christmas, so it is going to take a real miracle for this dream to take place. You could say, I'm praying for two miracles this year.

Sharing the gifts He has bestowed upon me every new day through the Joy Dare.
3 gifts of  difficult choices.
1,170 - Sacrificing my dream, so that I can be with my brother and his family.
1,171 - To concentrate on God's love and blessings, rather than resentment and 'what ifs'.
1,172 - To trust God's plans for our lives, whatever the outcome is.

3 gifts ice cold
1,173 -  Taking the lives of children is so prevalent anymore, our nation is turning ice cold (and less lukewarm) - Rev. 3:15
1,174 - The ice cold reality that God doesn't always answer our prayers in exactly the way we would like Him to.
1,175 - The weather in Minnesota, where we will most likely be staying over Christmas.


3 gifts that are beacons of hope
1,176 - The LORD is my light and my salvation--whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life--of whom shall I be afraid? Psalm 27:1
1,177 - Arise, shine, for your light has come, and the glory of the LORD rises upon you.  Isaiah 60:1
1,178 - I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them. Isaiah 42:16
 (other verses on God's light)

3 gifts family
1,179 - Past memories of Christmas' together.
1,180 - The support and love of my family, as we gather around my brother and his family in his illness.
1,181 - My sister-in-law, who is truly an angel in disguise. She has continually been at my brother's side. (As well as my mom.)
A photo from Christmas, 2011. My sister-in-law and brother, who is at the Mayo Clinic in Minnesota.

3 gifts Bethlehem-unlikely
1,182 - Miraculous healing of my brother's body.
1,183 - Getting to go to S.C. to renew our vow on the beach.
1,184 - This Christmas being a time of love, joyfulness, and peace.

Christmas 2011. My nephew,  niece (and her hubby), who are expecting in May.
3 gifts miraculous
1,185
1,186
1,187
Oh, I choose to wait to share these three gifts miraculous for my next post, for...
 "we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28

Our family needs a Christmas miracle this year and I'm praying He provides these glorious gifts.....healing for my brother and a special anniversary trip to renew our vows on the beach.
 
 Family, January, 2012

My heart aches for those families in Connecticut, who don't find anything miraculous this Christmas! I also pray that somehow, God gives them a Christmas miracle, too.


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