Straight From My Heart: Expectations

Hello, and welcome to my blog! Today, I want to share Part 2 of a series I've been writing, on the subject of disappointment. To read part 1, go HERE

I left you with a few questions in my last post that are good for anyone who goes through times of disappointment to answer...

1. What causes me to be disappointed?

• Expectations -To cling to your expectation is to decide ahead of time how things need to turn out for you to be happy.
• Disillusionment - When life doesn't go as we hoped, some degree of disappointment is normal. But at times, that can become disenchantment and develop into deep frustration or even anger. 
• The Role of Expectation 
• "Giving up on expectation so we won’t be disappointed is not really a viable option. Much of our excitement and enthusiasm in life comes from eager expectation. We look forward to things when we anticipate a desirable outcome. In fact, often times that excitement makes up a large percentage of the joy we experience."
• "Expectation can also work the other way. If we are anticipating a painful outcome we don’t call it excitement, do we? No, we call it anxiety. In the case of a negative expectation (anxiety), then we are glad when things don’t turn out the way we expected. It’s a relief instead of a disappointment."

 

2. What can I to do with the very real sense of loss, disappointment, and heartbreak I encounter along life’s way?

Know the difference between expectation and expectancy (or HOPE):

 - Expectation is premeditated disappointment, often characterized by unfulfilled desires.

 - Expectancy involves faith.

•  "To embrace expectancy is to engage your faith that God will move on your prayers AND that He may come through in a way that’s different than you expect.”
• "To the Christian, hope is the knowledge that we are being changed for the better as we trust in God's promises (Romans 8:28). It is the conviction that no matter the circumstances, God's plans for our lives are "for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope" (Jeremiah 29:11b NLT). 

 

3. How do I keep my disappointments from tangling me up, from strangling my joy and skewing my perspective?

• I need to release the picture of how I think things should be. It’s time to hand it over to the One who knows me best and loves me most 
• I also need to give Him time and space to work in, through, and around me. This is often the most difficult thing to do. It requires patience and giving up "my" agenda.  
• I have to rejoice in the Truth and through that knowledge, realize that my disappointments are stepping stones to God's great blessings for my life and His glory. Again, not easy. It requires trusting what we can't see or even imagine.That's why knowing His Word becomes so important.

Dealing with Disappointment @ Faith Radio

4. What does God want me to do with my expectations?

6 Steps to Overcome Disappointment... (This has only been my own path of dealing with disappointment. It may not be others experiences or needs.)

What I need to do:

1. Let myself grieve. Things have not gone the way I wanted. My hopes and expectations have been defeated. I need to spend some quiet time being sad, understanding that my emotions are just that...emotions, and "this, too shall pass."
2. Pray.  Spend some time talking to my Heavenly Father. Tell Him my heartache. 
3. Listen and wait. Big things happen when we pray. Sometimes, they are blessings beyond our expectations.
4. Search for the good. This is the time when it’s hardest – and most important – to find the good, grab onto it with both hands, and celebrate it.
5. Adjust my expectations -  It might make sense not to set my goals so high. But who wants to settle for mediocrity? The proper balance can be elusive, but also worth the effort in finding it.
6. Believe in God’s plan. "Paul found strength and hope through his friendship with God. He wrote, "If God is for us, who can ever be against us?(Romans 8:31-32)  The more we stake our security in God's enduring love, the less power disappointments will have to undermine our hope."

Read more at "Feels Like Home"
 and "Dealing With Disappointment"

 

5. What to do when you feel disappointed in God?

• Especially, when you pray day in and day out, week after week, month after month ... and nothing changes.

•  It’s hard to say it out loud: “I’m disappointed with you, God!” (Do we honestly think we will shock God if we tell Him how we really feel? Do we imagine that we do our souls any good by pretending?)
• Listen, God is big enough and His love is fierce enough to deal with anything we feel or must face. So let’s stop right here and acknowledge the truth: life can deeply disappoint us.
• This is a chance to learn and grow, a pathway to real hope. For this reason, we must learn to recognize disappointment as a turn in the tide and not the end of the journey.

Trusting God in Disappointment

Are you weighed down by disappointment in yourself, in others, or in God? Tell Christ the whole truth. We will never understand this side of heaven the depth of the love of God. But we have a glorious invitation to trade our disappointment for the sure and certain hope we have in Christ."

Psalm 34:18 - The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

 Psalm 40:1-3 "I waited patiently for the Lord to help me, and he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the pit of despair, out of the mud and the mire.
He set my feet on solid ground
and steadied me as I walked along. He has given me a new song to sing, a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see what he has done and be amazed.
They will put their trust in the Lord."  

source

The Christian life can sometimes feel like a roller coaster ride when strong hope and faith collide with an unexpected reality....an unexpected storm. 

I don't think we should stop hoping -

• I know for me, the lessons I've learned and the intimacy with God I've gained in the process of not getting what I hope for, is probably more impactful than the excitement I would experience when my hopes are actually fulfilled. 

• The bottom line is that God has a master plan and He will work everything together for our good, whether we get what he hope for at any given time or not. At the end of the day - our true hope in God will not disappoint.

And this hope will not lead to disappointment. 
For we know how 
dearly God loves us, 
because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love. Romans 5:5

New Living Translation

Linking over to these blog hops:

Tell His Story @ Jennifer Dukes Lee

Three Word Wednesday @ Simply Beth

Woman2Woman Wednesday @ Meredith Bernard

Thought-Provoking Thursday @ 3-D Lessons 4 Life

Essential Fridays @ Essential Things Devotions

Follow me at these links:

Straight From My Heart: Hurt, Heartbreak, Disappointment

Hello, bloggy friends!

I hope you are having a great week!

My weekend was pretty nice, but the weekdays have been another story, a story that may take me a few posts to explain...

 I really need to start by telling you about my time taken off from blogging, though. You see, back in April, I decided to take a break from blogging, to redirect my focus and my prayers, specifically for my son, who had chosen to make some bold professions of his non-faith in God. This hit me really hard, at the time, and I felt compelled to seek the Lord's intervention in his life, through prayer and fasting. 
During that time, I experienced many things, but none were what I was ultimately praying for. I struggled with why I was actually fasting (and even what motivated me to pray specifically for my son's eyes to be opened). I experienced disappointment and heartache, like I'd never felt before in my life, not just in my son's decisions, but also in God's decision to NOT answer in the way I had asked. I felt cheated, as I tried to understand the meaning of true faith and hope, when things feel like they are falling apart. 

I am still learning and growing in my faith and trying to comprehend the many mysteries in life...like, 

"God is all-powerful, pure, undiluted love. But He is not like a genie who appears when we rub the magic lamp and grants us three wishes."  The Storm Inside

"So many times I get into the mindset that this one thing is going to complete me and make my life so much better, when in reality, only God is our true source and joy. Instead of giving into my (sometimes) toddler-like demands, He leads me back into hoping in Him alone, as He is the only sure thing I have in this world."

"I need to be at rest in the midst of the unknown, content without getting what I want and so thankful for everything I have that I honestly don’t care if I get anything else. So true, yet easier said than done. It’s something I wish I could make happen, yet I know it’s a process and I need to submit to that process. And when I struggle, I need to learn to lean on God because He’s the one that can actually change me."

"We never know how God is working behind the scenes and that’s why it is important to trust Him and know that HE has what's best for us, even when our flesh screams for something else."

 Jack Zavada  "The Christian Response to Disappointment"

One thing that is definitely a hardship for me - and, as I read other's writings, I am learning that most of us deal with - is disappointment.(as well as hurt and heartache)

Disappointment: the feeling of sadness or displeasure caused by the defeat of one’s hopes or expectations

There are different kinds of disappointment.
There's the "awe, shucks" kind of disappointment on the one hand (like when your favorite team doesn't win or you don't get to eat at your favorite restaraunt.) 
And then there's the kind of disappointment that reaches our heart and makes us hurt so deeply we can hardly breathe.(like not being able to conceive a child, or in my case, not being able to see and share in the joy of your child having a relationship with Jesus Christ.)

Just a few side-notes that I've also learned about parenting adult children:

• "To most parents, their children are their world. To put it bluntly, after a child reaches eighteen years of age, the only rights a parent has in regard to input in that child’s life, is the rights that the child gives them. The child is sensing their independence and wants the freedom to live their life. So only at invitation does a parent of an adult child have the right of voice or opinion." source

• Whether we like it or not, at some point, those closest to us disappoint or hurt us.  People run from the truth, create some false sense of reality and act in ways that we know are not good.  People make mistakes and, choices that are clearly wrong or unhealthy.  It's so easy for us to see, and it seems nearly impossible for them to see.  Sometimes bad choices and decisions turn into long lasting bad habits we cannot understand. Because of these choices, we find ourselves either disappointed in ourselves and/or others.

• It's hard to see our children fall, but sometimes we have to. Sometimes we have to ask ourselves whether intervening is in their best interest. There are a million ways to love a child, but in our quest to make them happy, let us stay mindful that sometimes it takes short-term pain to earn long-term gain.

What does disappointment do? 

• Disappointment can be agonizing and make us feel paralyzed in time.  It can be life changing.  
•  Disappointment feels like the mortal enemy of  hope. 
•  Disappointment saps us of our energy and hinders the work of the Holy Spirit in our lives.
•  It can turn inward at ourselves or out toward another. It can even get turned toward God.

I need to ask myself these questions:
        What causes me to be disappointed?

What can I to do with the very real sense of loss, disappointment, and heartbreak I encounter along life’s way? 

How do I keep my disappointments from tangling me up, fr1m strangling my joy and skewing my perspective?

   Click on the link to read part 2 of "Straight From My Heart - Expectations".

Before I end my post for today, I wanted to continue to share  God's many blessing and gifts in my life at "Multitudes on Mondays", as I  Dare to Share.
1,758 - Getting to sleep in a few mornings this past week! Oh, I had missed sleeping in!!
1,759 - Another gorgeous weekend...to go boating and fishing!

1,760 - My two dogs, who LOVE going on the boat with us...what sweet faces!

and watching them sunning themselves...

1,761 - Even with disappointments, God gives me His Words for encouragement and peace, during times of storms in my life.
1,762 - Time with my friend and a wise counselor, Sue.

1,763 - Beautiful view of the full moon, with it's reflection on the water.

and a close-up

1,764 - The peacefulness of nature...God's forming of day and night.

Linking over to these blog hops:

Sunday Stillness (He Cares For You)

Weekend Brew (My Freshly Brewed Life)  
 

Soli Deo Gloria Gathering (Soli Deo Gloria Sisterhood)
 

Sharing His Beauty (Beauty In His Grip)

Titus2sdays (Time-Warp Wife)

UNITE (Rich Faith Rising)
 

Winsome Wednesday(My Daily Walk in His Grace)  
 

Word-Filled Wednesday (Woman to Woman)  
  

Tell Me a True Story Blog Hop

 Faith Filled Friday (Missional Women)

Coffee For Your Heart (Holly Gerth) 

Tell His Story @ Jennifer Dukes Lee

Three Word Wednesday @ Simply Beth

Woman2Woman Wednesday @ Meredith Bernard

Thought-Provoking Thursday @ 3-D Lessons 4 Life

Essential Fridays @ Essential Things Devotions

Follow me at these links:

Back In the Clouds

I've been reading some Scripture on clouds. The following verses really caught my attention, since my blog name is "Christ in the Clouds". 

The Lord in a Cloud:
Can you imagine seeing the Lord in a cloud today? What a sight that would be! The Israelites of the Old Testament and Christians of the New Testament did just that!

   

The LORD said to Moses, "I am going to come to you in a dense cloud, so that the people will hear me speaking with you and will always put their trust in you. (Ex. 19:19)

Then the LORD came down in the cloud and stood there with him(Moses) and proclaimed his name, the LORD. (Exodus 34:5)

So the cloud of the LORD was over the tabernacle by day, and fire was in the cloud by night, in the sight of all the Israelites during all their travels. (Ex.40:38)

He makes the clouds his chariot and rides on the wings of the wind. (Psalm 104:3)

.
 After he said this, he was taken up before their very eyes, and a cloud hid him from their sight. (Acts 1:9)

While he was still speaking, a bright cloud enveloped them, and a voice from the cloud said, "This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased. Listen to him!" (Matt. 17:5)

The Lord's AMAZING power and beauty are also seen in the clouds today...

"He wraps up the waters in His clouds, And the cloud does not burst under them."  (Job 26:8)

"The clouds poured out water; The skies gave forth a sound; Your arrows flashed here and there." (Psalms 77:17)

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

I was there when he set the heavens in place,
    when he marked out the horizon on the face of the deep,when he established the clouds
  above and fixed securely the fountains of the deep,(Proverbs 8:28)

Do you know how the clouds hang poised, those wonders of him who has perfect knowledge?" Job 37:16

"Your unfailing love, O LORD, is as vast as the heavens; your faithfulness reaches beyond the clouds."(Psalm 365)

"Look at the heavens and see; And behold the clouds--they are higher than you.(Job 35:5)

The New Testament also reveals that Christ will come "on the clouds"

"Yes, it is as you say," Jesus replied. "But I say to all of you: In the future you will see the Son of Man sitting at the right hand of the Mighty One and coming on the clouds of heaven." (Matt 26:64)

Look, he is coming with the clouds, and every eye will see him, even those who pierced him; and all the peoples of the earth will mourn because of him. So shall it be! Amen.(Rev. 1:7)

"And then the sign of the Son of Man will appear in the sky, and then all the tribes of the earth will mourn, and they will see the SON OF MAN COMING ON THE CLOUDS OF THE SKY with power and great glory." (Matt. 24:30)

 And then, finally - for "those who remain"

....the dead in Christ will rise first. 
Then we who are alive and remain will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air, and so we shall always be with the Lord." (1 Thes. 4:16-17)

AMEN!!!

I am always in awe, when I look upward, into the sky. God is a mighty God!! His glory and beauty is always on display, when I look at the many different clouds that are formed by Him, I wonder if He still, at times, resides in the clouds!!

Continuing to share His many blessing and gifts in my life at "Multitudes on Mondays", as I  Dare to Share.

1,748 - Having my co-worker/boss return to work, after taking a 2 week vacation. It was so wonderful, having her back at the office!

1,749 - Spending an afternoon with my good friend, antique shopping.

1,750 - Watching the sunset on the lake with my hubby.

1,751 - Having a date night with my hubby (movie and dinner).

1,752 - Seeing a family of swans swim by our boat.

1,753 - Eating dinner, Al fresco, on a warm summer evening.

1,754 - Oh, lovely, long, lingering summer days...

1,755 - Watching an old photo video of my son, growing up, through the years. Bittersweet thoughts and memories.

 To see part of the video, go HERE

1,756 - The awesome and intriguing sights and beauty of the clouds, when I look up into the sky.

1,757 - Getting to talk to my son...it never seems like enough time, so I cherish and soak up every opportunity!

Linking over to these blog hops:

Sunday Stillness (He Cares For You)

Weekend Brew (My Freshly Brewed Life)  
 

Soli Deo Gloria Gathering (Soli Deo Gloria Sisterhood)
 

Sharing His Beauty (Beauty In His Grip)

Titus2sdays (Time-Warp Wife)

UNITE (Rich Faith Rising)
 

Winsome Wednesday(My Daily Walk in His Grace)  
 

Word-Filled Wednesday (Woman to Woman)  
  

Tell Me a True Story Blog Hop

 Faith Filled Friday (Missional Women)

Coffee For Your Heart (Holly Gerth)