Random Journal Day: Worry

This is my first post, sharing from my journals, so please be patient with me, as I try to share some pretty personal stuff from my heart. (Linking up at "Beneath The Surface: Breath of Faith: Random Journal Day Link Up 4")



This entry was written a little over a year ago. I was very stressed at that time. My son, who had been into some pretty deep trouble , was graduating from high school in a few months. Believe it or not, this entry was a little on the lighter side. As you will eventually find out, my writings can often get quite dramatic and colorful. Hey, it's where I let it all hang out! But for today, I'm starting out with a short one.
-------------------------------------------------------------
 Tuesday, April 12, 2011
O.k., I'm going to throw out to God a flag that asks the question ~ Why is it so difficult to not worry about stuff in my life ~ about Tyler, about our future, about money, about political and natural events that are going to happen ~ it doesn't resolve anything or add a minute to my life. I don't enjoy worrying ~ plus EVERYONE tells me, "Don't worry. Just enjoy whatever you can in this life." Even the Bible says, "Don't worry." I feel like I'm fighting against a tide of giant waves, rolling in from the ocean. Even stuff, like worrying about Ken's health (like I did this past weekend.) I'm supposed to just not worry and believe it will get better? Maybe it will, but I always wonder, maybe there's a reason for my concern.

The beginning of this week has been rough for me spiritually. I've been fighting off negativity ~ issues w/my health (mammogram came back negative), with the possibility of not going on vacation out west, with listening to a friend complain about her miserable life, yet doing nothing to work at improving things. Then she turns around and tells me not to worry! One day I can write several things in my gratitude journal, and the next day, I'm drawing a blank.
------------------------------------------------------------
Deep down, I knew what the answer was to my 'God flag' question...sin and Satan at work. He knew exactly where my weakness was and was hitting me hard that week. I noticed that I must have been so frustrated that I didn't even write a prayer, seeking God's help at that time. I think my mind was so scattered that I couldn't even think straight enough to pray. 

I'm so thankful that even when when we don't know what to pray (or sometimes I think we choose to not pray), the Spirit intercedes for us!

"In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express"
Romans 8:26

And my worrying was all for naught! I had a second mammogram, which came back positive(they didn't find anything) and my son graduated and is doing much better today. My husband, Kens, health is o.k. There are days I still worry about him, both physically and mentally (not getting too stressed out in his life), but he is (sort of) trying to work at improving his habits. And I realize that I'm not doing much better, when I let worry stress me out, too! I guess we all could learn from each other!
 ----------------------------------------------------------------------



Comments

  1. enthusiastically, dawnApril 20, 2012 at 6:55 AM

    Ann, thank you for sharing your heart! Oh, I so relate to the wrestling with the flesh...yet look- our faith grows. We look back and see that we face many giants and in the end our faith is growing and God is growing mightier daily despite our worries, fears or doubts. I am grateful for His faithfulness! Grateful for your participation! ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. cairncottageApril 20, 2012 at 2:55 PM

      So, true, Dawn! I look at past entries all the time and am reminded of His faithfulness! Thanks for inviting me to this awesome blog party!

      Delete
  2. KathyApril 20, 2012 at 7:14 AM

    Hello Ann,

    Thank you for sharing your heart and thoughts. We all have the same battle from time to time - remember all the times Paul said he does what he didn't want to and didn't do what he knew he should (very much paraphrased) but we all go through moments - then just like your blog analogy - the clouds roll away and we see Jesus. The constant we can count on is that God doesn't worry - God never changes and He has a plan - we just need to recognize this - remind ourselves and encourage another - that's the best way to lift one's spirit!
    Hope you have a truly blessed weekend,
    Kathy

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. cairncottageApril 20, 2012 at 2:56 PM

      Amen, Kathy! It is so encouraging! Thanks for stopping by and I wish you the same!

      Delete
  3. Tea in TexasApril 20, 2012 at 11:56 AM

    Ann,
    I found your blog and love it! First, I want to thank you for telling about the tea books at Dollar Tree. The was also a Mother's and Father"s Day book which will be perfect to use for the up coming celebrations. The subject of worry is ao appropriate for me at this time with my husbands fall and then my son moving for a new job! You were preaching to the choir in my case. Thanks for the thoughts and ideas. I love your blog name and photos.
    Pam

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. cairncottageApril 20, 2012 at 3:00 PM

      Oh, I'm so glad this was an encouraging post for you, Pam. As far as the tea post ~ I actually bought the Mother's Day book, too. I plan on posting stuff from that book when it gets closer to Mother's Day. You must have a Dollar Tree stores in Texas, too! :) Blessing to you!

      Delete
  4. Susie - Walking ButterflyApril 22, 2012 at 8:57 PM

    Hi Ann, thanks for joining the fun at the Random Journal Day Link up. I too have fought that awful worry habit! Isn't it great to look back at our journals and see that the things we worried about did not happen? That gives me faith that today's worries will probably not happen also!

    ReplyDelete
  5. quietspiritApril 23, 2012 at 6:21 AM

    Ann, I come here from a link on Random Journal Day. I, too, have had these same worries. Several years ago, I kept hearing the word, "Trust" as I tried to deal with an issue I had. I hung in there and I received answers when God thought I was ready to understand what I had to go through.
    This year, 2012, I am focusing on the word God has given me again,"Trust."

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

I would love to hear from you! Feel free to leave me a comment.

Popular posts from this blog

My word for 2016: Happiness

Image
Hello and welcome to my first post of 2016! I'm a bit shocked at writing this post, as I I haven't picked a word for the year for myself for a few years. I hadn't planned on choosing a word this year till recently.  But because last year had SO many challenges for me and I gave so much of myself and felt so drained of energy by the end of the year. it just seemed appropriate to decide on a specific word for 2016. Definition from Dictionary.com "The state of being happy." synonyms: pleasure ,  contentment ,  satisfaction , cheerfulness,  merriment ,  gaiety ,  joy , joyfulness, joviality,  jollity ,  glee ,  delight , good spirits, lightheartedness,well-being,  enjoyment ;   exuberance ,  exhilaration ,  elation ,  ecstasy , jubilation ,  rapture , bliss,  blissfulness I've been reading and praying about the word - happiness - in Scripture, in Christian theological writings and blogs. I'm learning that happiness is not something God
Read more

Burn The Ships

Image
The beginning of a New Year often has us looking back and seeing how God has walked with us in the past and contemplating the year ahead .  We tend to want to hold on to the familiar, the easier path, the old ways....but these often become unhealthy, and even dangerous for us to continue down some paths/have relationships with some people in our lives. When we become aware of these different paths/people in our lives that can hinder/harm us, we may need to "rise from the dust and walk away".  "Burning the Ships" can be SO difficult(maybe even excruciating.)  I don't know about you, but FEAR often has kept me from burning the ships and moving ahead. Fear of rejection, fear of what others will think, fear of being alone, fear of not knowing the future. But, God reminds us that He will never leave us, nor forsake us. He is our source of strength. And He holds the future and will take care of us!! “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageou
Read more

Spiritual Fervor

Image
  We go through our daily routines,  but something is missing. Maybe d uring a crisis or a major life change....            or simply spending less and less time on spiritual pursuits. ...these c an cause us to enter a time in life                          when there's just no enthusiasm or spark. Ha ve you ever been the re before? I have!! There are days when it is difficult to find the drive and zest, even when I know I have the greatest reason to be zealous . Lacking zeal or losing spiritual fervor is som ething that the believer needs to be aware of as he /she progresses in one's spiritual life.  As we grow in our knowledge of Biblical truths and the things of God it becomes quite familiar and the wonder of first discovery can diminish over the years. It is here that spiritual boredom can set in.  Zeal is a fruit of deeply abiding in the One Who is Life! It is different than mere excitement, which happens mostly outwardly and at the surfa
Read more