Monday, December 2, 2013

Happy Holidays...Really? {Do We Live Generously}

 http://karenheimbuch.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/Giving-11.jpg
Source
(This is Part 2 of a Christmas Season series that I'm writing about different things that make the hoidays less "happy" for some people(based on our sermon series at my home church). You can read Part 1  HERE.)

What does Christmas mean to you? Making out our wish lists? Wrapped presents under the tree? Giving and receiving gifts? Cleaning out our savings accounts and maxing out our credit cards?
Sadly, for many people, Christmas is about getting MORE things. It's about who gets the best present and who gets the most. It means more toys for the kids and finding out who can give/get bigger, better presents.

I love the Christian based cartoon "VeggieTales". It was one of my son's favorite cartoons to watch as a young boy. (And I'll admit, I loved watching them with him!) A few years back there was a Christmas video that VeggieTales made about living generously.
Here is the trailer:

The U.S. is known to be a wealthy country, in comparison to most other countries in the world. Here is a listing of the top countries of the world. 
Figure 2: Regional Wealth Shares
 When we look at this pie chart, it lets us know that we are very blessed to be born in America. (I realize some have been more financially blessed than others. But we are all blessed to be in this country) 

This, in one sense, is truly a gift from God.
"Moreover, when God gives someone wealth and possessions, and the ability to enjoy them, to accept their lot and be happy in their toil—this is a gift of God."(Ecclesiastes 5:19)

God has specifically given instructions for us (Americans and those in European countries especially) to be generous.
"Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant, nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God, who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment. Command them to do good, to be rich in good deeds, and to be generous and willing to share. In this way they will lay up treasure for themselves as a firm foundation for the coming age, so that they may take hold of the life that is truly life."       
 (1 Timothy 6:17-19)
He also reminds us that:
From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked.(Luke 12:48)

As wealthy, (yes we truly are wealthy, compared to most of the world)Americans, do we live generously? During the holidays, especially, America's wealth is painfully evident! Spending money on ourselves and even having to get more, bigger, better things. Now, I'm not saying it's wrong to give gifts to loved ones. But it's more important to know where our hearts are, instead of how and what we spend our money on. Our attitude should be that of a cheerful giver...
 "Each one must give as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver." 
2 Corinthians 9:7
as well as having a grateful heart and expecting nothing in return. 
 "I tell you, love your enemies. Help and give without expecting a return. You’ll never—I promise—regret it. Live out this God-created identity the way our Father lives toward us, generously and graciously, even when we’re at our worst. Our Father is kind; you be kind."
We also need to be aware of the needs of others less fortunate than us.  
 “If a brother or sister is poorly clothed and lacking in daily food, and one of you says to them, Go in peace, be warmed and filled, without giving them the things needed for the body, what good is that?” – James 2:15-16, ESV
“Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in your power to act. Do not say to your neighbor, Come back tomorrow and I’ll give it to you – when you already have it with you.” – Proverbs 3:27-28, NIV
Let's think of how we can give/live generously this holiday season(and always), whether it would be financially, with our time, or through our talents.

Here is a funny video made by "The Skit Guys". I love these creative actors, as they teach a lesson on having a generous spirit at Christmas....it's not always about "things".
 
Continuing to give thanks, listing the many gifts from the Lord all week long...   Linking over at  "Multitude on Mondays".  
1,551 - An especially fun Thanksgiving meal at my mom's house.
1,552 - Getting to watch an old movie that had my grandfather acting in it. (Briefly)
1,553 - Peanut butter pie and Creamed Corn Casserole!
1,554 - Family pictures


1,555 - Having fun together at Panda Express!


1,556 - Deep spiritual conversations with my son.
1,557 - His willingness to dig deeper to learn about God and truth.
1,558 - Safe travels
1,559 - Homemade lasagna
1,560 - Being able to work outside - raking leaves, storing outdoor items for winter.


at 9 comments:

Monday, November 25, 2013

Happy Holidays.... Really, {With MY Family?}

Like it or not, the holidays are upon us and often our expectations for the warmth and joy of this season far exceed the reality.

According to counselors and law enforcement, the statistics don't lie. The holidays are anything but happy for many people.

Over the next several weeks, I'll be sharing some different ways the holidays can be less than happy for many of us and how to address these issues. How can we best prepare for a time of peace and gratitude in our lives in the coming weeks? 

 
Today, I will be talking about family. How many of us have difficult family members, who seem to cause friction, no matter how hard you try to get along with them? I've heard the saying  and agree,  "We don't get to choose our family members." And honestly, would we choose to be friends if they weren't family? For many of us, the answer is "no". 

Here is a trailer of an movie I love to watch, called "Home For the Holidays." Have you seen it? Some of it is humorous, but there's also some dark reality to it.  If you have a family that's a bit unconventional (the opposite of the Norman Rockwell image. Let's face it, none of us has that kind of family anyway, right?), you will find this movie easy to relate to. Mine isn't quite this bad (well maybe at times), at least not up front. (We have a LOT of passive aggressive people in my family.) 



I can relate to the feeling that the main character, Holly Hunter, has about getting together with family. It's difficult to know just what to expect....but I'm never surprised by how some family members never cease to try to cause friction or start an argument.  

Is it getting worse? (Sometimes it really feels like it is.)
What can we do about it? 

How do we slow ourselves to focus on God’s greatest gift to us? Especially when we believe this time of year should be about family, gratitude, peace and generosity. A time of year that represents receiving the greatest gift ever given.

I've put together 9 different things that hopefully will be helpful in letting us deal with family conflict during the holidays....

1) To begin with, before heading out the door (or family members arrive) take time to pray for God to give you wisdom, kind words, and the right attitude. Pray that the presence of God will be experienced in the love and support shared between family members. Pray also that when issues arise that you will find forgiveness in your heart and find joy in the time spent together, no matter what happens throughout the day.

2) De-emphasize the materialistic aspect of the season.  Research has demonstrated that holiday gatherings and family celebrations are more satisfying and result in higher levels of happiness when family members de-emphasize the materialistic aspect of the celebration while emphasizing the positive aspects of family and spirituality

3) Let go of the expectations you may have. Avoid being defensive and don't let your ego keep you from being close with someone you love. Set differences aside for the holidays. But, don't be surprised if family members still try to hash up old hurts. If this happens. . . .(read #4)

4) Try out new positive patterns of interaction.  Families do not like change and as a consequence, tend to engage in ritualized and repeated patterns of interaction.  In other words, when families that live apart get together for the holidays, old patterns and tensions are likely to re-emerge, triggering old wounds and memories of unresolved conflicts.   Instead of automatically repeating the way in which we engage in conflict with our family (which is what they are expecting), communication scholars suggest we try out new positive behaviors that may have the potential to de-escalate a conflict. 

5) Try to cut your family some slack. Pretty much everyone’s been in a position that made them feel — at least momentarily, if not longer — stupid, offended or insulted during holiday get-togethers.   Understand they probably aren’t intentionally aiming to upset you, and even if they aren’t being very considerate of your feelings or trying to see things from your point of view, realize you’ll be better off taking the high road around the holidays.

6) Avoid topics you know might get people riled up (such as politics, specific causes, or religious practices) and try not to ask questions that might be negatively construed.  Just ask lots of open-ended questions and let relatives share what they’re comfortable with. Compliment, don’t criticize, and everyone will have a much easier time getting along.

7) Acknowledge your own needs and limitations. 
  • If you get stressed hosting a family gathering, eat out or ask another family member to host, and offer to bring food or even order in.
  • A full house during the holiday season is common.  This means that people who typically do not live together are now under one roof.  This can be particularly stressful. Taking a walk or drive to the store to get a break is acceptable.
  • Consider making the length of the visit shorter. The longer we are with disagreeable people in one sitting cause stress to build. 
  • Take responsibility for your part in the dynamics that cause stress in your family relationships.
  • On the other hand, don't feel guilt for things that are not your fault or if you have tried to do everything you know to do to keep peace in your family. Just accept it, let go, and let God have control! 
8) And remember it's THANKSGIVING (and Christmas is coming!). Be thankful that you get to cook, or that you don't have to cook. Be thankful that you get to travel, or that you don't have to travel. Be thankful for your family or your friends. Find something. Studies show that gratitude is a major happiness booster. 

9) Finally, remember that while your family has given you your greatest joy, it can also be the source of your deepest pain.  This profound statement reminds us of the vulnerabilities as well as the triumphs that we experience in our families.  Knowing your limitations and setting healthy boundaries can help ensure a successful, happy holiday season for you and for your family. 

Source; Source; Source
I do want to emphasize that, in spite of the stress of holiday gatherings, I do love each and every one of my family!  Interestingly, our Thanksgiving meal may be a small one this year. My sister is working and my brother and his family have other commitments. My son is coming home from college and my mom and stepfather will be present. So, it may be just a handful of us, which could make things a lot less stressful.

 Have a blessed thanksgiving thanksgiving happy thanksgiving happy turkey day

Praying that you have a blessed and stress-free Thanksgiving!! 

Continuing to give thanks, listing the many gifts from the Lord all week long...  Linking over at  "Multitude on Mondays". 
1,541 - God's Word, given to encourage me!
  "...those who seek the LORD lack no good thing." Psalm 34:10
1,542 - Having lunch with my mom, last minute.
1,543 - Watching old movies/t.v. shows. Love the innocence of the old black and whites.
1,544 -I know I say it often, but having an amazing, loving, understanding husband.
1,545 - Having an adorable great-niece.(8 months old) Seeing pics of her on my niece's Facebook page.
1,546 - Having our carpets professionally cleaned!! Oh, the house smells and looks SO good!
1,547 - Having left-over Chinese take-out for my lunch....tastes SO good!!
1,548 - When my dogs get excited about getting under the covers of our bed, after my hubby leaves for work in the morning.(They bark and run all over the house! It's so funny.)
1,549 - My son, coming home for Thanksgiving!
1,550 - Time together with family.

at 10 comments:
Subscribe to: Posts (Atom)

Everything is Blooming!!

Well, if it wasn't evident in my last post, it’s definitely very evident this time around!! Spring has sprung!!! We’ve been keeping so ...