I guess I do have a pretty good excuse for not posting, though. Uhhhh, right....COVID, the state of our country and our world, mom taking a turn for the worse with her dementia, selling mom's house, family issues. In reality, they ARE excuses, but I think they are good ones. Don't you?
Anyways, I'm back.(For now)
Don't ask how I decided to come back...well, you can, but I won't go into detail. Basically, I was looking back on some past posts and realized that life has a way of grabbing you by the b&##$ and not letting go.
Life is such a contradiction of time, a polarity of feelings and experiences!
I feel like the past year and a half just stood still, I have no clue where it went. So much has changed...and yet, it hasn't. Sometimes, I SO WANT it to change. Other times, I don't.
I am acutely aware of how fast time has passed – how fast it is passing – and as much as I look forward to moving on, I am intentionally breathing in the moments I have with my mom and my son. I realize that when things do change(and they eventually will), those things will most definitely NOT be what I would like to change. Mom will pass on someday. Tyler will move on in his life, as well.(He is still currently living at home and working...saving money to travel the country on his own, like we have done.) It feels like I'm in a straight jacket and heading down a rabbit hole all at the same time.
Talk about conflict!!
Me and my hubby's(mostly me) dream of traveling the country in our RV have been put on hold over the past 18 months. Not that we haven't done anything. We've taken a few 1-2 weeks trips, which have been awesome. But, nothing like our first trip after Ken retired. And, don't get me wrong. He's on board with traveling, too. He's just more "content" with sticking around home than I am.