Friday, February 15, 2013

Ten Ways To Love - #5 & 6: Answer and Share

 marriage, affair-proof your marriage, Christians online, strong marriage, Facebook
This is the third post in a series I'm writing, called Ten Ways to Love. To read part one, go HERE. For part two, go HERE.

 #5: Answer without Arguing
"Better a dry crust with peace and quiet than a house full of feasting, with strife." Proverbs 17:1
Sometimes I am amazed at how God describes things in the Bible! He could have gotten straight to the point in this verse and just said, "Don't argue or yell at one another." Instead, He describes two different scenarios. Both involve something we do every The first scenario describes having little food that is dry, to top it off. But, those eating it are happy because they are in a peaceful and quiet surrounding. The other scenario described is one of strife and unrest, but those eating have their fill of delicious food. No couple or family members will agree on everything they do, but there is a time and place to address disagreements and I think this verse confirms that "at the dinner table" is NOT that place. And when it is time to talk to one another, we should look back over the other verses on the above list, as we consider how we need to approach disagreements.

 #6: Share without Pretending
 "...speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ." Ephesians 4:15

Communication is Important:
 The first principle in communicating in a marriage is to be honest: “speaking the truth.” A satisfying marriage relationship must involve openness and honesty. But, the truth can sometimes be cruel or full of personal opinions.  
That is why the second principle of effective communication is to be loving.
 When we speak, our words should be encouraging, unifying, and Christ-honoring. This implies trying to understand and to love the other person, despite the issue or complaint that is creating dissonance in the relationship. 

  To "speak the truth in love" means to act towards others in ways that help them to grow in Christ and be strengthened. Does this mean that we must simply tolerate wrong ideas or behavior? Is disagreeing always wrong? Absolutely not! However, it does mean that  when we disagree in a marriage, our words must be handled in constructive and redemptive ways. Patterns of healthy conflict resolution and critique should be embedded in the conversation.
Again, considering the other 9 Ways to Love in the list, are vital.

Learning to communicate in a marriage relationship is an ongoing learning experience. I know! Even after 26 years together, my husband and I continue in learning how to communicate better!

 Today, I am listing some more reasons that I love my husband and linking over at the Happy Wives Club  blog hop! My theme today is to use each letter in the word "Valentine" to describe why I love my hubby so much!
Why I Love My Husband

Virtuous - He is a man of virtue, as he looks to the Bible as a guide to living out a Christian lifestyle.
Affectionate - He likes holding my hand, cuddling on the couch, and gives lots of kisses.
Logical - When I begin to overreact to a situation (which happens a lot) he will be calm and logically pull me back to looking at things logically.
Exacting- When he does a project around the house, he does it right the first time, no matter how long it takes.
Needs me - Isn't it great to feel needed? He lets me know that he needs me and couldn't make it without me.
Trustworthy- I can trust him to be truthful with me.
Inventive - He's very creative and if something doesn't work, he will create a device that will make it work.
Nasally -  O.K., there aren't many "N" traits that I can find to describe him, but this one kept bringing to mind how he is such a great snorer. It may be annoying at times, but it's something I've come to love about him. He can go from being awake to deep, snoring sleep in minutes (or seconds).
Enduring - He's the most patient person I know!

Also linking over to these blog hops:


  1. Wonderfully said! Answer without arguing is such a succinct and simple phrase, but sometimes easier said than done. However, if we can be patient and abide by the wisdom provided by Proverbs, life is definitely better. Your list of things you love about your husband are cute! Visiting from the Happy Wives Club.

    1. So glad you stopped by, Kim! I totally agree that patience and the wisdom of Proverbs benefit us much!!!

  2. I love your VALENTINE acronym! And your "Answering without arguing" and "sharing without pretending" are awesome.

    1. Thanks, Fawn! And thank you for hosting the "Why I Love My Husband" blog hop! Your blog is amazing!

  3. This is a great series! Thanks for sharing such great tips. Congrats on being married 26 years, that is totally awesome! God bless!

    1. So glad you found my post insightful! It's so encouraging that through the Lord's leading, the words He gives me can bless others! I already feel so blessed, too, to be married to such a good man!


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